This isn't exactly the blog I had planned, but it hits home. I've been behind lately because the realities of teaching this year have put me in a tired mood when I get home. And, I've noticed it quite a bit on posts in music educator Facebook groups lately. The wonder about exhaustion. The frustrations with new and differing forms of classroom management issues. The feeling of loneliness and lack of respect because the music teacher is most likely the only one of that discipline in a building. New requirements for teachers on top of what feelings like growing animosity towards teachers. Not to mention outside stressors. The political scenarios. Natural disasters. Family issues. It seems like it's just..........ENOUGH..............And I notice these posts not in a "Oh, geez, here they go again", but in a "oh, my, I'm not alone" way.
I wanted to start with a few words of what I hope can be support:
YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Trust me. There are quite a few of us who feel like this. Think, for example:
- You work your heart and soul out and one class was a thing of beauty, only to be observed in a different class, the one with the child who crawls under the piano and where the computer refuses to work.
- You are asked about your written data, when you, well, when you assess using performance-based standards that aren't always black and white.
- You have screamers, kickers, and elopers in your class, and the para is stressed, or there is no para.
- You are being compared to a former music teacher all the time.
- You have children who talk back, and you have little or no parental or administrative support.
- You cannot get funding for a measly paper clip, much less a new alto xylophone.
- The "right" child did not get a feature as the reindeer who saved Christmas.
- You run on adrenaline and coffee because your travel and lunch is wrapped up in a neat little hour before you have to set up a different classroom.
- You forgot what a treadmill looks like.
- You MUST attend a mandatory faculty meeting....that covers reading data.
- You are extremely discouraged because you do not get the recognition you feel you deserve, and others do. Sometimes it's a game of favorites. And you KNOW you're not supposed to do it for the recognition, and then the guilt kicks in.
- You pull into your garage or parking space, and sit and stare, too tired to get out of the car.
- Heck, you sit at your desk and stare, too tired to get INTO your car to go home to sit and stare in your car while in your parking spot.
- You graze on chocolate and carbs while you are finally in your residence, staring at the TV, grasping at every little bit of free time that is yours because once you go to sleep, ,that alarm will go off all too soon.
- You bark at the dog.
- You bark at the news because.....you are tired of tweets. And fights. And nastiness. And natural disasters. And even a good M*A*S*H rerun does nothing.
There seems to be no end or no solution. And, sorry, there is no magic formula except to say...you're not alone. I will use myself as an example. As someone who has struggled with self-image issues all my life, and minor depression, it has seemed that teaching situations get so much tougher. Things are so different than they were 32 years ago when I started. But yet...............there is something about that ONE child whose eyes start twinkling when they get it that keeps me motivated.
My list above is actually highly exaggerated. But you know...that's how things seem when we're overwhelmed. So to counter this, what do we do? How do we survive these feelings? I am no counselor or psychologist...just a long-time teacher who has struggled with so many of these feelings and has tried to work out solutions to make myself content with myself. These are also suggestions from other teachers, so I hope it helps.
Find your faith source. I'm a Christian. I'm not going to preach. That's just my faith source. We have different faith sources, whether it be Jesus, Yahweh, Allah, Buddha, nature, or whatever. Find your faith source. Find what it is that helps you draw strength that will not harm you physically or emotionally. Define it. Hone it. Mine has gotten me through a lot.
It's OK to cry. It's not really OK to cry in front of your students. But it is OK to tell your students "You know how you are told to ask for a break when you feel like you can't handle it? Kids, I need a minute." I have actually sat myself in the "Safe seat" when a class gets to be more than I can bear. I don't say anything. Some kids do, but the other kids give them dirty looks. Things get quiet. It's OK to let the kids know they let things go too far. Just don't get into the habit of it, or they know they can play you easily. But back to crying. I've cried in front of administrators when I've had heart-to-hearts. My principal is tough and pretty A personality, and she'll admit it. Sometimes we are at loggerheads, because she has admitted my Orff style makes her nervous because it's so spontaneous. Not to mention she's nervous about coming into my room because this pretty well describes me:
But I can dump on her, and she works me through it. I came thisclose to having something in my file last year, because I was going through the old woman stuff, and hormones and depression were out of whack. To her credit, my principal listened to me, and we worked out strategies. And nothing ended up in my file. Find that person. It might not be your administrator. It might be a colleague in another department. It might be your dog. It might be your clergy or faith leader or yoga instructor. Find that person. They're not there for advice. They're there to listen. And be a shoulder. It's OK to cry. Even you guys.
Get a Dammit doll or a stress ball or something that you can shake, hit on the desk, or throw when you're alone. Don't know what a Dammit doll is?
This sweet shapeless angel sometimes takes a lot of abuse💓💓💓But it comes in handy.
Get into good eating habits. Here's where I fail miserably. (But, I am not going to get down on myself, but take my own advice!) I have two days in a 4-day block where I don't get a plan time and only 30 minutes written in for lunch, and we know what that means. I've discovered I craved crunchy veggies this morning. When we don't eat well, it makes the depression and blues worse. Here's what Web MD recommends:
- Complex carbs
- Fatty fish
- Black tea
- Raw veggies
- Light carbs at bedtime
Since I pretty much eat at my desk or in my car, I've taken to getting the little canned packaged meals of tuna, or sometimes eat salmon straight from the foil package. I also keep almonds in my desk. (WARNING: Keep nuts in a sealed container, and wipe that area down because of allergen risks). I also make my own yogurt and try to eat eggs for breakfast for the protein.
Meditation: I noticed a copy of Time at Target that had a header about mindfulness. I guess it's a "thing". But it's a "thing" that has great benefit. I absolutely love the Calm app and it's free for classrooms! I've used the kids part of it for my afterschool groups, who often come in hyped from the day. Sometimes, because the woman's voice is so soothing, I listen to it in the car. No, I don't close my eyes. But it helps.
You don't need an app to meditate. You don't need 30 minutes. Just find 2-5 minutes when no one is around (yes, it exists) and close your eyes and breathe. Proper breathing isn't just for singing and instrument playing! And according to the Calm lady, it's OK if your mind wanders. When you learn to direct it back, focus really returns.
Exercise. We all know it. But we often don't do it. But it bears repeating. You need the exercise beyond the Highway Number One and Charlie Over the Ocean you do with your kids. I like yoga. I have finally found an exercise I love and am willing to do every day. Find yours.
Avoid negative people. That is tough if we work or live with negative people. If you live with them, you might need to lay down the law. If you work with them, avoid the lounge. They will drag you down. And don't watch the news when you're in a funk. Watch something dumb and silly like The Big Bang Theory. Find where you get your gut laugh and get to that source. We need gut laughs when we feel we've been socked in the gut.
Aromatherapy/essential oils. For some people, aromatherapy works. It works for me. I have quite a few friends who diffuse essential oils. I love them, and I believe there is a chemical something that works with our own personal chemistry to change moods. For me, it's bergamot, peppermint, lavender, or citrus. If you do investigate oils, make sure they are PURE essence. Don't buy them from Amazon, where who knows who might have diluted them in some way. Also, check with your school nurse to see if you are allowed to diffuse. If you are not, you can keep a bottle handy and sniff the bottle or wear diffuser jewelry. (Etsy is a good place to find this.)
Collaboration. Find the positive people who can provide objective insight into your situation. There are several good Facebook groups for music that can provide this. Yes, there are people on there who tend to be bossy and judgmental. Like life, you can leave a group and find one with which you are comfortable. Check out the National Association for Music Educators or the American Orff Schulwerk Association for mentors who can help you through the tough times. We are here together to help each other. And don't hesitate to send me a message if you have questions or thoughts about my message here.
We are meant to care for each other. But before we care for each other, we must care for ourselves. Take care of yourself. Your kids will thank you.